Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Waiting Game

Its been pretty busy around here.

I've had this big house all to myself since Saturday. Mr. Overactive 5 year old (aka Ryan) surprised me and came a little bit early Friday afternoon and stayed until Tuesday morning. We had dinner with Sarah up in Auburn Monday night. I couldn't help it. Niffers was calling my name. Besides, the boy has an appetite close to that of a whale's and I knew he could go for some corn nuggets and fried pickles while we waited :) .

Now, I'm staying super busy with work (surprisingly), which has really helped pass all this alone time. I'm quite independent, but I'll be honest, I was a little sad Tuesday night when I got home from work and I was only greeted by two little pups. Secretly, I was hoping to drive up only to discover that he is full of surprises and decided to stay an extra day.

These days I'm always hoping for things I know I can't have quite yet.

I want a better job.

I want my own place.

I want to live in the same city as Ryan.

I want to fast forward to a few years down the road when hopefully my life will be a little more like I want.

I know that its always greener on the other side. It never gets easier. Circumstances change but one thing stays the same: Life is hard.

Patience is a virtue. As a girl, I always daydream of what I want my life to be like. I dream of coming home to my own family with my husband and precious children. To the home of my dreams.

But dreams aren't reality.

I'm really working on my patience and seeing the silver lining in every circumstance. I'm learning that happiness is a choice not an emotion you just wake up with one day.

HOWEVER, I do have peace in knowing that God listens to his children and their desires. And I have peace in knowing that his wisdom is infinitely greater than ours. His plan is flawless.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

I keep holding this one close to my heart.

Today I was reading a mother's blog about her journey through her daughter's recovery from a massive anurism. Her life is upside down and she just longs for the past when things were normal. She waits for that normalcy. I then realized that my circumstances aren't so bad.

So I have to maintain a precious relationship 3 hours away and only have the phone during the week. So I have to take the little tidbits of time I can get with him here and there.
We DO get to spend time together. We DO have each other. Im NOT alone anymore.

This mother posted two scriptures that have opened my eyes and will be holding close to my heart right now.

"For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait on Him."
-Isaiah 30:18

"But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently."
-Romans 8: 25

I'm waiting patiently and confidently from now on!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hey Fall!!

I may be jumping the gun here, because its only September and its Alabama, but I can't help but comment on how there is a slight touch of fall in the air now. We went from upper 90's to upper 70's in a matter of about a week. Normally the thought of summer disappearing makes me sad, but this year is a little bit different. I've been looking forward to fall for quite some time now.

I'm a little jealous of my parents. They're leaving this weekend for New Hampshire to see the foilage. Yeh, they're old, but I have to admit it, I wouldn't be too upset to see it for myself.


Monday, September 15, 2008

A little Catch Up...

The past month I've been sick. It went from tonsilitis to bronchitis to sinusitis. Basically, I'm used to constantly hacking up my lungs. I've gone strong and fought it all this time and came to the realization this morning that the more I fight, the longer its going to stay. So, guess who took today off! I've been laying in bed, feeling like I'm back in college again. Despite the constant coughing, I've really enjoyed having NOTHING to do. I honestly cannot remember the last time this happened!!

This past weekend I went down to Tallahassee to visit Ryan. The original plan was to help him with the final touch ups on his house that he has been renovating. I'm imagining that I was going to walk into an empty house with walls, cabinets, appliances, fixtures, flooring, etc. More like: concrete subfloor, only one wall put up, exposed ceiling. I'm probably the LEAST handy person alive, so when I walked into this, I was a little bit nervous. Believe it or not, Ryan actually convinced me to be his little assistant. Please picture me helping lay electrical wire, plumbing and building walls. I know. It was quite a site.

I'll be honest, I didn't last all day like he did. All the sawdust and mess everywhere on top of NO AC, I started hacking like no other and decided to sit in front of the fan and have a little magazine/pedicure time. Like I could possibly make it for a whole day!! All I have to say is that whenever the day comes that we start renovating a house, I'm in charge of decorating. Construction...not so much.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Has anyone seen this? I'm referring to Slade's loss of manhood aka the "manscarf." I am a HUGE fan of Bravo's The Real Housewives of Orange County, so when Bravo decided to get ultra-wierd new show, Date My Ex, I knew it was worth watching at least one episode. I'm sorry but I think the absolute LAST person on this earth I would let pick a new boyfriend for me would be my ex. Not because there's bitter feelings or anything negative like that, but simply for the fact that its just plain WIERD. "Hey I know we dated off and on for YEARS and at one point I thought you may be the one, but we're done now, so you want to find me a new man?"

No thanks.

Anyway...back to the man scarf. I know that the scarf thing is HUGE with celebrities (even in the hot summer heat), but when a man wears one, thats where I draw the line. Seriously Slade. I used to think you were so hot and quite the catch and that Jo was an idiot for leaving you. But now, I think you're simply a tool.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Its Official...

Either I'm turning into my mother with her neurotic Christmas shopping habits (6 months in advance) or I'm really just crazy about someone. Whatever it is, I'm suffering from serious shock. Just dropped a healthy $800 on a plane ticket for Ryan to join the family next MARCH when we go to Aruba. Hey Christmas gift!! Good thing I'm done with my shopping for him!!

Now, I can just look forward to this, as I count down the many months until this week long vacation in paradise.

**I know what yall are all thinking. But contrary to common belief, Aruba is actually VERY safe. My parents went last spring and if it gets their stamp of me...its safe. Its sad what the media is capable of doing...destroying their tourism, which is a vital part of their economy.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ok, so the last post was ridiculously sappy. I've had comments. Fortunately for me, the TV gods have put out quite a spread of shamefully great shows.

Currently watching the new 90210. I wasn't a fan of the original, but its looking like I will be quite addicted to this one. I've missed the OC and this comes pretty close. More thoughts on this later!

And of course, the guilty indulgence aka GOSSIP GIRL. This show is ridiculously addicting.
Mondays are now something to look forward to!!

So go ahead and re-set your TIVO or DVR because this fall is sure to please. Monday and Tuesday nights, you know where I'll be...GLUED to the TV!

Monday, September 1, 2008

This weekend was perfect.
We all spent the weekend up at the lake.
Did the whole meet my parents thing with Ryan.
Everything went amazingly.
Sarah came up Sunday morning...after the first AU game...WAR EAGLE!!!
We ate, talked, swam, ate some more, talked some more, and played one rousing game of Apples to Apples.

And now, the weekend is over.
The washing machine is on overload.
I'm mentally preparing for yet another week of work :(
Sarah's back in Auburn.
And Ryan is on his way too.

When Sarah was leaving she said:
"This reminds me of a Parent Trap Moment when they play that sad song..."

And I have to agree.
I know its cheesy and totally unlike me to get sappy but everytime the weekends are over and I have to go back home or Ryan has to go back home I get in this mood.

"Ev'ry time we say goodbyeI die a little
ev'ry time we say goodbyeI wonder why a little
why the gods above me who must be in the know
think so little of me they allow you to go."

Sorry for such a wimpy post...I'll find something more uplifting for the next one!