Friday, July 31, 2009

So, its been doing A LOT of this recently....
It seems like every day there have been a few showers that turn into DOWNPOURS here in Tallahassee. Kinda puts a damper on making any beach plans for the weekend. But that's quite alright, because I've got plans to go have a few of these...

That's right. The weekend is here, which means one thing to me. Time to RELAX and have a good time. Its been a LONG week and I've been counting down. Here's to hoping that the rain won't just totally ruin everything!!
An update on the pops. He's doing well, all things considered. Surgery went well. Had a brand-spanking-new-fresh from his residency doctor. I asked if he was single, dad said there was a ring. Bummer:) . But all that aside, he's at home taking it easy, letting mom play nurse (EWW stop your thoughts right there). I talked with mom this afternoon and she was on her way to pick him up some scrub pants since he's doing quite the bit of lounging these days. Apparantly, he doesn't own a pair.'re a doctor and don't own scrubs? Yeh, my thoughts exactly! But anyway, he cant put any weight on it for 6 weeks. Mom's getting him a walker. I thought the point of walkers were to help you oh, I don't know, walk. And he sure can't do that, but Sweet Carol put it lightly when she said, "I'm the physical therapist, let me do what I do best." Alrighty then...touche!! Poor mom, now she has 2 patients to take care of...the mono struck Deckster and the can't do anything with a bum foot dad. Hey, she's in healthcare...just doing what she knows best!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My mom called me today around 3:30, which was odd because calling me during the day is basically pointless. My job is to be on the phone AT ALL TIMES so honestly, the best way to catch me is to text or email me.

But anyway, back to the story. She called me in histerics the first thing she said was, "Rachel, we've had an emergency. Everyone's ok." So I don't know about you, but this is NOT the type of call I like to receive when I'm a little fragile right now or you know oh say...EVER.

Turns out Mr. B-ron (as the gearles affectionately call him) aka my dad was trying to load up an old sofa in the boat house and somehow slipped and busted up his ankle. Mom was driving him home to the hospital, but keep in mind its a 45 minute trip from the lake to Montgomery. I asked her if they were going straight to the hospital and she said, "No, we've gotta take Lexie home first."

Personally, if my ankle were shattered, I would be saying something along the lines of, "Yeh you can just drop me off at the ER first then take home the little squirt and meet me back at the hospital." But the man is that awesome that he said, "dog first, me second." Pretty admirable!!

So I'm still awaiting the outcome. More to come. Keep the man in your prayers!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

A little change in plans...

I got a call Friday afternoon from my little sister saying she just found out she has Mono and so I quickly had to change my plans. I had decided I would just go home instead. But honestly, I wasn't really feeling the 4 hr trip home. I got 1.5 hrs on the way and crossed right into Alabama when I got a call from this girl...

(Please excuse the horrible bags under my eyes!! This was Friday after a LONG day at work.)

And I decided to just turn around and head back to really is home to me now....Tallahassee. It was silly and spontaneous, and felt AMAZING!! So we had a fun weekend out meeting fun new people. And instead of me sitting at home crying over the fact that a year ago from yesterday, I met someone very special. I honestly didn't really even give it much thought, believe it or not. It was fun to just be me.

And for now, things are good. We had an amazin weekend and I felt like I was back in college but its ok. Because tomorrow we'll be back at work (yes we even work together) and living the life of an adult. Its all a fine balance that I'm going to have to find. Because the truth is, I don't really know how to do the single scene and be in the working world at the same time. I'll figure it out. Bit by bit:).

But back to my sister, keep the little squirt in your prayers. Poor little one has mono and I've been there done that and hope to never do it again. So I know she's beyond miserable. Poor thing.

Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm getting ready:) ...........

to be surrounded by Orange and blue!!
And take walks around my old stomping ground...

And remember what a college town is really supposed to be like!!
Bags are about to be packed and loaded into the car. Just a few hours away from a little escape from swampy Florida. And I'm pretty excited!!
Life goes on and my little man just keeps trying to jump into my lap to give me his morning sugar. The coffee is especially yummy and filling this morning and I know I've been given another day to enjoy!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

And P.S. ......

This makes me happy too!!

For all you rock purists out there, forget it. Just ignore this. Its techno but REALLY cool! So if you like music thats a smidge on the different side, like say Postal Service, check this out!! A few days ago, I called up my music friend and said, "please make me a new cd." And she delivered!! One with all kinds of new music goodness!! One song (Not by Owl City), just absolutely broke me. I've probably listened to it OVER AND OVER 45 times. I'm a lyrics freak. I will find songs that match my situation at hand and just become enamored. Yall I'm sorry, but I'm weird. I wish I knew the name of the band, because if I did, I would be doing some MAJOR downloading. Probably a good thing for my wallet:)
Oh Crap. I just googled the song and found it AND the band. Here ya GO!!
"No One's Gonna Love You"- Band of Horses
It's looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart
We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was
But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do"
Ok enough of this mess...gotta go work on Sassy's bday gift:)
Lucky for you guys, I have a pretty twisted sense of humor when I'm tired. And I am VERY tired!! Haven't really slept or eaten in two weeks and and I'm probably at the point of being delirious, so in a few days, I'm sure I'll look back and see this and say, "WHAT THE....!?!?!?"

Anywho. I've had a good day, started kinda rocky but its so incredible how the Lord places the right people in your path to lift you up. And then around 2 this afternoon, I was going 90 mph again, and realized my tears had dried and I had a SMILE on my face!!! Again, oh the little things in life!!

So today, I came home and I'm working on picking up the pieces of my life that are scattered ALL over my place. And I do mean they are EVERYWHERE!! Its kinda scary!! But I'm taking a break and trying to remember the things that make me REALLY happy!! Beware, you're not gonna get it (at least some of them), but everytime that I see these, I just laugh and laugh!!

Probably shouldn't be showing this ridiculously flattering picture of me. But the story behind it just makes me laugh out loud...even now. So you know its good!! This was in Aruba on the last day we were there. We were having a sweet little family breakfast and Sarah and I were have a camera war. So she got that one of me.
And look what I got of her. Oh my gosh, I found this and started crying because I was laughing so hard! I don't even know what this is about, but I'm sure the other customers in that little cafe thought we were the most ridiculous people there. And THAT is what I love about my little sassy!! We are ridiculous around each other. We have our own language, we fight and 2 minutes later start laughing and say, "ok are we done now?", we can be completely silly aroun each other and not for one second feel awkward. Thanks are by far the greatest sister in the world!!

And of course this sweet little face makes me happy. Madison has been my little sidekick for almost 5 years. And she's been through thick and thin with me and she's never left my side. She is the closest thing to being my best friend that a dog can be. And she loves me unconditionally.

And then this little guy is just a hoot. He is into EVERYTHING and loves life! Loves playing, loves his big sister and LOVES his momma!! I sat in my bed talking to my mom last night on the phone, tears running down my face and this sweet little man came up to me and tried to lick them off.
I'm oh so very lucky! I have so much to be grateful for. And its a daily marathon to remember these things. But Rome wasn't built in a day. It was built piece by piece and so are we.
Stay tuned...I'm sure I'll have lots to share from this weekend. Going back to the heart of me...AU!!! And I'm braving out a rando to cut and color my hair. And yall, his name is Don. I dont need to say anymore...because that in itself makes me laugh. My sister called me to tell me my appointment was scheduled and I'll be with Don. I had to close my office door because the laughter could not be controlled!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Oh how grateful I am for the amazing friends I have who have poured out their love and support to me!! Sometimes it takes something tragic to get back to the core of who you are and realize that life isn't as terrible as you had imagined. The calls and messages and love shared were overwhelming! And this morning, when I was sitting on my little porch with my coffee in hand and Hudson in my lap, I realized I was smiling. Little steps! The Lord is beyond faithful to us always and his compassion far exceeds any heartache or problem we could ever imagine!!

Yesterday, I had to stay extra late at work doing a call night with our members. And yall, I thought my life was out of sorts until I had a few conversations. A mother pleading with me to find a magic potion to help her child walk again. A lonely old lady who just was desperate to talk to someone about anything. A man who is working four jobs to make sure his son can visit a neurologist once a year. Tears were welling up in my eyes with each conversation and I just had to stop and take a step back. One of those out-of-body moments where you realize that life is so precious and that your circumstances could be far worse. That's not to say that some problems are more important than others. That's what amazes me the most about our Father. He holds me closely with my broken heart the same way he holds a terrified mother. How incredible is this? If that doesn't make you feel like the luckiest person, I don't know what will!!

So, instead of us all focusing on our issues, we need to step back and change our gaze to an outward focus. Its far more rewarding to lend a hand to someone in need than sit in our own sorrows. And I'm NOT saying to help others to make you feel better about yourself or do it to pat yourself on the back. I'm saying this because this is one of the most important lessons Christ taught in His short time in this sinful world. Its so easy to get wrapped up in our daily issues. And before long, you think that your circumstances are just unbearable. But the truth is, this is a sinful world and EVERYONE has to deal with mess. So, what's the point in wallowing in your mess? There's power and healing in being selfless. Its a gift from the man upstairs!! Believe it or not, the more you get involved with helping others, however that may be, the happier your soul will be.

Am I patting myself on the back? No. I've forgotten this cornerstone for so long myself. And my JOB is helping others. But I can so easily get caught up in the numbers of it and forget the face of what I'm doing. There are hundreds of people I'm raising money for who have TERRIBLE circumstances and somehow when I talk with them, they're happy. How can this be?

So all this being said, I just want to once again pour out my thanks to all of you who have been faithful friends and surrounded me with love. I can't even explain how rewarding this has been!!

On a MUCH BRIGHTER note, I have a FUN weekend planned with my best friend in the whole sister!!! Taking it back to the most fun town in the world, Auburn, and going to spend the weekend with her. I've made a few requests: Niffers, Amsterdam, downtown shopping and a walk through my favorite neighborhood with my pupsters. Could it get much better than that? Yes it could, it could be oh say, 2005 in Ross Park with my gearles!!! But that's not my focus. I'm just thrilled to get back to that sweet little town and probably feel old again.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Pretty Questionable Post

So I've debated on whether or not to share this with the whole blog world. Mostly because its super personal and I just think that blogs are made to share "good" news...basically a look through rose colored glasses into people's lives. But lets be real here and realize that life isn't always about fun weekends and pretty homes.

I've been MIA for quite some time because my world is a little shaken right now. Its true. I'm back to square one. For all of you wondering what in the world I'm talking about, I'll go ahead and say it. My sweet Ryan is no longer mine. Yes, I was just as shocked as you are. This came out of nowhere, but after about 2 weeks of us struggling after a disagreement, I've decided to let him go. Not in terms of a boss saying, "we're gonna have to let you go," but more like, " I love you more than anything in this world and your happiness is most important so here is your freedom."

I have a very heavy heart right now. I can't quite piece it into words quite yet, but the bottom line is that I still TRULY believe in love. I believe in the enduring love that you walk through life together hand in hand through the good and bad. And while we did that, I just don't think it will always be that way. I could be wrong. Timing is everything and at this point, its just not the right time.

After countless phone conversations with my friends (you know who you are), I've realized that real love is a two way street and it can't be sacrifice only on one end. So to all of you who have endured my many tears and listened to me say the same things over and over again, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means more to me than you'll ever know. I'm simply one button away from therapy. And of course, I'm always here for you too!

I think something I struggle the most with is I'm a goal setter. I have these expectations that I feel I must achieve by a certain time. And the problem with this is that when these goals aren't met according to my due date (no not the preggers type of due date), I feel like a failure. But the truth is that that in itself is a MAJOR problem. We are never to expect to fulfill our future on our own. I'm a control freak, I admit it. And I saw all these happy blogs and stories about these sweet families and I just grew more envious by the day. I thought to myself, why isn't that me?

It may not be something that everyone does (blog envy), but we're all guilty of it to a certain extent. Wanting what we can't have. So I'm going back to the core of what I know. That is the promise that my Saviour has laid heavy on my heart since junior high school. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

I'm clinging to this promise on a minute by minute basis. Why? Because I know He's not done with me yet. That he wants me to seek him and rest in Him. Its all crazy to me how I could have forgotten something so simple...HE has it all in control...all under his infallible, perfect plan.

I'm trying here. I really am. So, please bear with me. I won't fill this with sadness and tears, I promise. I'll just keep it light for all of us!! But I do covet your prayers and wisdom. Lay it on me thick!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Hey, look at my closet! HAHA yeh right, like I would have that much space for just spaghetti strap dresses and quite honestly, like I could afford that many sphagetti strap dresses! Well, I came across this picture and thought to myself, "there's someone else out there who is as ridiculously OCD with her closet, just like me." Sad thing is, if you were to look into mine right now, you'ld see a lot of empy hangers because I just can't get motivated to keep tidy these days. I think the Summer Blues have set in. And I'm scared they're here to stay!! I would much rather sit on my porch after work and talk with friends. I'ld much rather take my dogs on a walk after work because, lets be honest, they've been couped up in the house all day long. SO many things I would rather do than be productive. This probably stems from the fact that I don't have the opportunity to slack off at all at work. I have to be 100% every day. So when I get home, I want to put on my "college uniform" (aka shorts and a tshirt) and just chill out!!

Nothing new happening around here. Just the same old same old. Sorry I wasn't too entertaining this time. I'll try to do better next time!! :)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

For Carol

I've been begging my dad to loan me his fancy-schmancy camera he has that he NEVER uses and just lets collect dust in his closet, but I've had no luck so far. He tried to convince me that I should really learn Photoshop first before I sink $800 + into a camera. Umm, Dad, I don't need to sink that kind of money into anything, because you've got one I can learn on. ANYWAY...that being said, he tried to teach me a thing a two about photo composition. But learning from a man who has not the slightest creative ounce in his body is kinda tough. He did, however, teach me ALL about aperatures and lenses and so on. So, I found these two pictures and thought I would share them. Not that they show ANYTHING that I learned (ummmhmmmm because I was using the $400 point and shoot), but they're still cute!

So most of you know that my mother is DYING for grandkids!! She desperately wants a baby to spoil and hold and love. For now, she's going to have to settle with little pupsters. If this picture doesn't say it all, I don't know what would. Look at poor little Lexington wearing her oh-so-cute life jacket. She's not too pleased to see her granmama playing with another little yorkie. And if you look closely in the background, there's my sweet Grandmomma!! She is by far the kindest lady I've EVER met. I can honestly say that I've never heard her say anything negative .... EVER! What a great example for our negative generation! I can imagine that one day somewhat soon (in the next few years, don't get crazy on me now!), that we'll have another picture just like this, but there will be a baby in Sweet Carol's arms and Grandmomma will be smiling on!!

And then, I would also like to brag about my BEAUTIFUL hibiscus plant my mom gave me a few weeks ago. Yes, you read correctly, I've kept a plant alive for a few weeks. WATCH OUT!!! This beauty sits on my porch for everyone to see and it just keeps on giving. Thank you mom for the pretty housewarming gift!!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Hope you all have a fun and restful holiday weekend. We spent some time on the road and headed "up north" to Mom and Dad's lakehouse Thursday night after work. Actually, we stayed in Montgomery Thursday night and got up to the lake on Friday. Mom and I headed over to the Farmers market Friday morning where I picked up a new Shrimp Plant for the coffee table (**which almost bit the dust on the ride home today....hopefully I can nurse it back to health).

We had a nice relaxing weekend at the lake with lots of good food! I can't really remember a 4th of July spent any other way to be honest!!

Ryan and I loaded up the dogs after lunch today and hit the road for our 5 hour ride back home. A few pit stops along the way and we're back with a new Dryer to complete my laundry room.
AHHHH the little things in life!!

Ill leave you with some pretty summer pictures I stumbled across this weekend.