Anyway. Tonight, my heart is starting to sink a little bit. You know the times that you are just on cloud nine and the whole time in the back of your head you're just waiting on the bomb to go off? You know that moments that are so perfect only last a little while. What goes up, must come down. Its the law of gravity and the law of life. Its filled with good times and bad ones too. Easy times and hard ones too. But outside of the peaks and the valleys are the bits of time that are neither horrible nor wonderful. They're merely life. That everyday mediocre, get through the day, make it through with a few laughs and go to bed happy.
The last year was spent mostly in the pit for me. All that time, I just kept waiting and waiting and waiting to climb out of that deep dark despair. I kept waiting on my time to shine. Waiting for something decent to happen to me. I wasn't even asking for excellence, simply something positive. Time went on and everything stood at a stand still for a while. And I one day realized, I was no longer in that pit, but rather, simply driving on the flat land also known as every day life. For a while there, I was okay with this. At least it wasn't where I'ld been before. And so, I became content with what most would call normal.
And then out of nowhere, opportunities started coming my way to be able to live out my life long dream. To live in a city full of life. A big city busting at the seems with energy and people who are on the same journey in life that I'm on. Not that there is anything wrong with the way that most people my age I know live, but I can't relate to my friends who are married with kids. Believe me, I want that life...eventually...just not now. I would imagine that most people think I must be some type of martian for saying this. Its the southern way of life. At 26 years old, if you are still single, go ahead and send in your picture to the company who manufactures the card game Old Maid. But I refuse to buy into this. I really am glad that I have the freedom to live out the dreams I've always worked towards. To be able to up and move in a heart beat to pursue these dreams. To have the world at my fingertips and have no idea where or who I'll end up with. Its exhilierating just thinking about it. And that is just me.
So now that the dust is settling and I'm finally figuring out this place, this dark cloud has started to move my way and is just waiting to rain on my parade. You ever feel like that? You ever feel like just saying to the man in red downstairs, "You know what. You aren't going to ruin this for me! You can keep trying as much as you want, but I'm not budging. So you might as well take your party elsewhere." I wish I could send him an email right now and let him know.
You think I'm crazy?? Well, my friends, its not insanity...its reality. And that reality is called spiritual warfare. Now, I'm not going to use this blog as a spiritual outreach. I like to keep it light around here. I'm passionate for my savior, but I'ld much rather talk about it that post about it. But this is one thing I do want to say. When you start to feel that dark cloud come your way...face it head on. Whip out the umbrella. Put on the rain boots. Because the truth is, its not going away for a while, but like every rain shower, eventually it moves on to somewhere else and the sun comes back out. And it will be sunny and beautiful again for a while, but you know that at some point, another storm will come. A tornado will come and wipe away everything. Lightning will cause everythign to get out of whack. Hail will come and put huge dents in things. But you always know that these storms are only temporary. And no I'm not talkign about the weather.
There, its done. The heavy post is over. More light ones to come...
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