Saturday, April 24, 2010

This Budweiser Sauce's For You...

One of the best things about the blog world is that you can make friends with people you NEVER see!! And when you find out who is following your own blog, you will be pleasantly surprised when the "stalkers" fess up. I specifically remember when my friend Megan confessed to being a quiet stalker. I was really surprised to say the least. Let me back it up for a minute.

Okay, Megan went to the same high school as me, but she was a class ahead of me. She had transferred from our biggest rival school and instantly she was a hit! Now, I was best of friends with this class before they graduated. In fact, I really had to rebuild my friend base at the beginning of my senior year. We had mutual friends, but I was really the Junior tag-along {translation: WAY too low on the totem pole to hang out with the really popular people}. The reality of this is that this was all in my head because now I realize that we were really all on the same playing field, but I had the usual high school girl insecurities.


I always thought Megan was SOOOO cool! She had the car I wanted {DANGIT MOM AND DAD!! Why did you have to bring home the Hunter Green Montero Sport?? I told you I wanted the one JUST like Megan McNair's.}, the figure I wanted, the clothes I wanted and the personality that just naturally attracts people to her...all of which I wanted. She was like the ultimate to me.

So, when I was sitting in my office and received an email that she was following my blog, I literally had a moment. One that if this were in the movies, bright lights would come on and harps would start to play. OH MY GOSH...she not only knows who I am, she LIKES my blog?? Ok, it was all worth it. I'ld like to thank blogger for allowing me the opportunity to post stolen pictures. Cupcakes and Cashmere for inspiring me to dress the way I want, not what I think is safe. Sara Caldwell for encouraging me with suggestions for new posts. And an exboyfriend whose unintentional heartbreak led me to finding comfort in the blog world. Guys, I felt like a million bucks {that's for you TCLEMS}.


So ever since, we've become blogger buddies and I swear that if I somehow make it back to living in Fungomery, I will SOOO be your BFF Megan!!

Make sure you add her blog to your list {}. I swear she will have you laughing AT ALL TIMES!! And the best part is, if you were to see her in person, you would never imagine it possible to have that much humor from such a tiny cute PRECIOUSLY dressed girl!!

I asked her to do an interview and here you go!!!


Wow. This is a lot of pressure.
For some reason I am taking this "interview" pretty seriously. I dont know why. But I didnt put this much thought in to my SATs {true story}.
I am trying not to come-off as a total freak {no chance} here. Even before I write my answers, I already know that I am going to worry about how dumb my lists are. Im sweating just thinking about how weird I am. I cant take myself anywhere. Who thought it would be a good idea to allow me to blog unsupervised?
So here goes nothing... And FYI - I didnt include God, my husband, family, or friends in any of my answers because I thought that would be too obvious and too easy. And I love to make things more difficult for myself than they need to be.
With out further adieu {can I get a drum roll please....}

::Five Things I Can't Live Without::

1. Clarins Tanning Instant Gel - A quick glance into the mirror this morning reminded me that I need to hoard this product. Trust me, you do not want to find yourself with an empty bottle. I do not know how I let this happen, but now my day is totally ruined because I look like George Washington. In my professional opinion {I can say that because I have a profession}, Clarins gives you better color than any other self tanner. Even Oprah agrees. Yes, Oprah. Clarins will become a dear friend, refusing to let you walk around looking like Dina Lohan, or worse... the powder-faced first President of the United States. Oh the humanity!

2. Budweiser Buffalo Wing Sauce {Mild} - I almost didnt include this one because I wanted you to think that I was super healthy and I only ate things like tofu, vitamins, and leeks. But then I started thinking that Rachel may include a link to my blog and my cover would be totally blown. Truth be told, Ive got the diet of a third-grader. More specifically, a third grader who is on the first bus to fat camp, and you can bet the farm that Im sneaking Budweiser Buffalo Wing Sauce into my cabin. It can make a burnt piece of chicken melt in your mouth. And dont get me started about what it does to a piece of pizza. Just take my word and try it for yourself. You'll hate and love me all at the same time.
3. Chi Straightener - Quick! Someone distract my hair stylist while I tell you that I use my straightener every. day. Oh my gosh, did she just pass out? I know its politically incorrect to use it every day, but I just cant kick the addiction. Does it make me a better person if I tell you that I use industrial strength conditioners and argan oil before I iron out my tresses? I was recently informed that there is a bigger, badder straightener out there, but I could never be so bold as to abandon my Chi. Maybe it is late-90's/early-2000's technology, but maybe I like late-90's/early-2000's technology.
4. iPod Shuffle - First of all, I would just like to applaud myself for keeping up with something so small and easily misplaceable {is that a word} for such a long time. Now I have validation that Ill be a good mother. I have successfully managed to avoid throwing my ipod in with the laundry or have it ingested by a certain terribly mannered mysertymutt {however, I can not say the same for my husbands ipods}. I cant run without it. I absolutely, positively refuse to. It would be like asking me to run without shoes. Its that important. Which is why it showed up on this list.
5. Exercise - Does including exercise in this list make me sound skinny? Does it make you forget that I could inhale buffalo wing sauce with a straw if my husband would let me? No? I was afraid of that. I actually dread exercising. Nothing about holding the warrior pose for so long that my thigh turns red and starts shaking uncontrollably really appeals to me. And as a rule, I try to shy away from things which make me lose control of my muscle function. But exercise is the exception. I always feel so good AFTER I have completed a workout that I trick myself into thinking that I should do it every day. And I am definitely going to... starting next week.
:: Five things I am glad I dont have to live without ::
1. Extendable E Z Reacher - I am not yet a proud owner, but I take comfort in knowing that the product is out there. I look forward to the day when I will not have to get out of the recliner to retrieve my grape slurpie.Pardon my EZ Reacher, but Im feeling a tad parched. And, are those my Cool Ranch Doritos? Slide them over would you. The extension arm is already at full capacity.
2. Blackberry - The ability to get emails on my phone makes me feel all sorts of professional. I love seeing "Sent via BlackBerry from TMobile". Its so official sounding. I love sounding official
3. Wendy's Crispy Chicken Sandwich {Pickles and BBWS only} - Huh? What? So weird that this just appeared on this list because I have never... how did I go 27 years without trying this sandwich. Its a good thing that I just made the discovery because instead of the "Half-Ton Dad", you might be watching the "Quarter Ton Megan" on TLC. And my husband would be SO SOUR if he had to rip down a wall to get me out of our room. Do you know how hard plaster is to patch?
4. Target - I dont know how I end up in this store every Saturday, but I do. I find myself mindlessly wandering the aisles, not looking for anything in particular, but somehow managing to fill up my cart. Do I really need this aqua binder with the greek key design? No. But now that I have seen it, how can I go home with out one? And look, matching files. Im sure Ill want to file something one day. Target does this to me on every aisle. Dang them and their super cute packaging.
5. Chocolate Milkshakes - Chances are looking better and better for the TLC show.
:: Five things I think would make my life complete ::
1. Retiring early to a private island with my husband - We need to make this happen ASAP.
2. The ability to make my own shoes - Ive searched for the perfect pair of black boots for years now, and have remained empty handed. I have the perfect pair visualized in my head. If only I could make them myself...
3. Inventing an invention in real. life. {not just in my head} - I think of inventions everyday. Ask me to think of an invention. Ask me. ... Okay... Ive got one. I cant tell you what it is because I dont want you to steal my idea, but its really good. Really good. And you will definitely want two. Definitely.

4. Phillip B Russian Amber Imperial {Luxury} Shampoo -
Dear Santa, if you bring me this {$140} shampoo, I promise I wont ask for anything ever again ever ever ever..until next year.
5. Baybays!!! - Ill take 5 please. And yes I have lost my mind, but that was years ago.

:: Five things I hope I never have ::
1. Lyrics to a Justin Bieber song stuck in my head - Because this would mean that I know the lyrics to a Justin Bieber song, which would mean that I actually enjoy a Justin Beiber song. I am still not comfortable with the fact that I actually downloaded Party in the USA on my ipod about a year ago. Throw Beiber into the mix and it is system overload. What is with this kid and his hair anyway?
3. An iPad - I suppose I need to apply for witness protection program now. I just dont see the point. I dont want a computer that I can carry with me where ever I go. My laptop at home is just fine. And when I read books, I like to read BOOKS. I like to turn pages, and highlight, and make notes. I am a very messy reader which confuses my husband. He likes to keep books in pristine condition for future generations, but I wear my books out like I wear out my favorite pair of shoes. I like to look back and see my notes and highlights. You cant wear out an iPad. As soon as you do, they will introduce a new version. And in my opinion, a bookshelf full of old iPads will never look as charming as a bookshelf full of old books.

4. A bowl cut - If Heidi Klum cant pull one off, no one can. Except for my 4 year old nephew. Dixon can rock a bowl cut
5. Cut Pile Carpet in my house - It makes my teeth itch.

:: Five things that make me, me::

1. I am creative -
Can I paint a portrait of Snooki with a jar of pickles? No. But I can come up with an awesome poem for your Evite invitation.
2. I am slowly becoming patient - Just a little something Ive been working on.
3. I laugh at myself... a lot - If you only knew how many times a day I fall down stairs or smack myself in the face with a car door. Its a lot more fun when people are laughing WITH you.
4. I have memorized an embarrasing number of lines from the movie Billy Madison - Judas Priest Marsha, its one of those flaming bags again. Dont put it out with your boots, Ted. Stop telling me my business, devil woman.
5. I have a quirky sense of humor - If only every show was as hysterical as Arrested Development.

XO Rachels Blog Stalkers. Come visit me sometime.

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